Episode 1 On the first episode of Music Love Life Christal uses the new Beard Game Matters facebook group as proof that women love eye candy just as much as men, while Kevin insisted women are perverts…too.
Since I’ve been in a relationship for the past 8 months, I’ve been on overdrive trying to hook up my girls in an effort to help others find love. I was talking to my girlfriend and my boyfriend’s friend trying to score a love connection and both of them requested so many pictures of each other, that I lost interest in being a matchmaker.
“Send me a picture of her from this angle.”
“Do you have another picture?”
“Do you have a picture of him without glasses?”
Finally I just stopped responding to both of them, but it made me wonder if our obsession with social media has us looking for the perfect picture instead of the perfect situation?
“I can’t believe you’re writing about relationships and Black Love when there are so many other things we need to be concerned about in the black community,” an irate Facebook friend left on my page last month. I started to defend my post and then realized his comment was indicative of how far we’ve come as a culture from what is important. While no one can argue the fact that we are dealing with political and social unrest as a people, it’s my personal belief that LOVE is the greatest solvent there is and more love within our community would be the most effective change agent applicable.
OK so that may sound a bit dramatic but I challenge you to give me the benefit of the doubt. It’s not unreasonable to suggest that the issues within our community are directly related to poverty, single parent households, lack of parental involvement and a lack of education. Few would argue that adult issues are directly related to childhood issues and we know childhood issues are related to the experience our parent(s) provided. How many of us would’ve had a very different childhood if our parents had learned to love and respect each other even while co-parenting?
Instant gratification is the wave of the future. We don’t like to wait for anything: from our food to our music and now even our relationships. If you asked a roomful of couples how they met, we could safely assume over half of them met online. Whether the platform was Instagram, Facebook, or a dating app like Tinder or Match.com, people are making “instant connections” over their laptops and phones, as opposed to the local bar or lounge. Not only are couples meeting online, but they are also forming instant relationships: saying they felt like they were in a relationship after texting consistently or having conversations via social media. It’s created a new trend known as the “insta-relationship.”
We all define relationships differently and with our social constructs constantly evolving, we’ve begun to define marriages differently also. Monogamy has become less of a cultural staple and open and nontraditional marriages are becoming more commonplace. In the latest series of HBOseries “Insecure,” Issa’s bestie Molly (Yvonne Oriji) realizes she has feelings for her childhood friend Dro (Saruna J. Jackson). Unfortunately, Dro is married, so the book is closed on the possibility of truly realizing their chemistry. However, a candid conversation reopens the matrimonial book as Dro explains that he and his wife have an open marriage. Dro cracks the door further by suggesting the two of them could explore their feelings without consequence although she is friends with his wife too.